Here we go the ire is up! The steam is rising from my forehead! Teeth are clenched tightly and I am stammering for the right words! I am ready, willing and able to ridicule another company one more time!!
I will always proceed any rants with the following; As you know from following my blog, I am a very involved father who believes all relationships should share equally the trials and tribulations of running a household and raising children! I have also made it my personal mission to “call out” any company or companies that exemplify the stereotype of dad being a moron, lazy, absent, disrespectful, or ignorant. I also don’t believe that mom should be stereotyped as the frantic, know it all, does it all, at home personal maid to the family.
With that being said; I saw a commercial today that at first I will admit peaked my interest a little. It started out strong, and as it went on I found myself thinking “why yes nice lady tell me more”! But then they did it! Yes sir they did it! They crossed the line! The blatantly took the low road pandering their inferior product to the masses. They took it upon themselves to assume we as a society really function at a fifth grade level. Both with humor and intellectually. Oh and just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, it did. They attacked all fathers around the world. Wondering who this company could possibly be? Pondering what they might actually sell?
FOREVER LAZY!!! Have you heard of these Snuggie rip offs? Oh yeah that’s right I said it, SNUGGIE RIP OFF!! I laughed my butt off at the Snuggie, even got into a squabble over a white elephant gift one year that involved a Snuggie! Snuggie has a certain humorous respectability in the consumer world! Apparently Forever Lazy wants a piece of the market! Now as I admitted earlier, I was pondering one of these absurd little gems as a great gag gift for the firehouse! But after seeing the commercial and reflecting on their wonderful marketing strategy. I think not! Tearing down the human fabric that is our society, I say not only no, butt heck no! There will be no Forever Lazy in my household or fire station! I have banned them completely from existence!
Never have I seen such blatant use of the word lazy in describing the great people of this nation! Never have I seen men, women and children all portrayed as such horrendous lazy sloths! I will never stand by idly as a company states and I quote; Everyone can watch the big game while dad does what he does best! (dad is on the couch asleep) Being lazy????? Sleeping????? Drunk??? Is that really what dad does best? Apparently the household runs itself, or has Forever Lazy provided maids, accountants, teachers, coaches and cooks with every purchase of a Forever Lazy @ $29.99 plus shipping? Well I for one wont stand for it and neither should you! Put on a comfy pair of sweat pants! A nice long-sleeved shirt or sweater will do! Heck buy a Snuggie! Watch the Forever Lazy ad, you can find it on YouTube! They even have you wearing this thing to a football stadium! Yuck! Its like walking around in a pair of footsie pajamas! Oh yeah and its ok to be out in public with the darn thing on because it has dual trap doors so you can go to the bathroom! Can you imagine sitting on a toilet in a giant Sham-Wow! Can you say germ magnet!!
Let your kids know how highly you think of them by purchasing them anything that doesn’t lead to laziness or is associated with laziness by name! Just think your kid has straight A’s and then for Christmas you purchase the Forever Lazy as a lark. Now little Johnny is confused. What message is mommy and daddy sending me? Am I working to hard? Should I be lazy? Should I be “Forever Lazy”? When I grow up am I going to end up doing what dad does best? Little Johnny slips into the Lazy suit and Bam! Brain cells start dying, next thing you know its X-box all the time, he never gets off the couch, grades all drop to a D and little Johnny is headed to reform school! All because you bought into the Forever Lazy hype!
I know it’s not really that way, I am just worked up and rambling! But really no company should ever portray people as moronic, idiotic and lazy, especially when it involves the family circle. Humor is one thing, ignorance is another, but pandering ignorance is the very worst kind of sales tactic around. So please remember this, you are a reflection of all the people who helped you to become who you are today. If I see you with a Forever Lazy on well, game over my friend, game over….