Life is a journey, filled with many choices; avenues to follow covered in speed bumps, twist, turns and dreaded forks. You do your best to navigate with confidence, because let’s face it; life doesn’t come with a rule book, or a pocket guide helping you make the right choices, no life lets you make those choices hoping you will learn from both your successes and mistakes.
But what if you feel as though in one aspect of your life you have done everything right and it all still turns out wrong? You’ve taken the right paths, traversed the toughest hills, and done your best to succeed only to be crushed time and again? Standing by your convictions is hard enough, especially when you know and I mean know you are right! But to be constantly pushed backwards, thrown to the wolves and left watching as others with no moral or ethical values flourish?
Now someone at this point usually will explain how one’s own moral convictions can lead to blinders upon one’s own eyes. So much so that understanding the vision of the morally/ethically bereft is unimaginable! That sight has been clouded by arrogance in conjunction with a narrow point of view! To reply poppycock only deepens the level of ignorance one may have in regards to any subject held dear by the morally/ethically bereft.
I feel as though a Tourette’s patient has overtaken my body as controlling my speech laden with multiple expletives’ has become more difficult than in the past. Rainman is living inside my soul as everyday is met with a hearty “5 minutes to Wapner, 5 minutes to Wapner”! My laugh is no longer the jovial Betty Rubble giggle but more reminiscent of Pee Wee Herman with a touch of schizophrenia! WHAT! ARE YOU TALKING TO ME????
I would pick myself up from the mud and try a different path but each one I take leads to the same conclusion, the same effect, and really that just leads me to the definition of insanity!
Insanity by Albert Einstein: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
Do I give up my moral convictions and become a hypocrite, leading to different results? or do I continue to stay the course eventually walking through life looking like Doc Brown? Do I allow myself to be swayed, flopping like a politician looking to save his career, or do I stand tall with a square jaw and take the hit? Time and again and again and again-oh you get the point….
Of course I already know the answer to these questions, and trust me morals, ethics, honor and integrity will win every time. But sometimes, when left holding the bag, uttering then pondering “why” doesn’t seem like such a bad idea.
My morale is low, and my head hurts from thinking about all the time I have invested in this “second” most important part of my life (my wife and family being first). To those who thrive from controversy, use power to pad their own interests under the guise of (the) common good and protect the few who lack ethics and moral character while destroying those who hold it in the highest regards. You have driven me to the point of temporary insanity! (Giggling uncontrollably like Pee Wee again) Yet my integrity remains intact, my morals are holding strong. I will not give in for the joy of cheap success! Karma has a special place for all of you…
In the end even though there is no map, rule book or guide to help you through life, I sure could use a new path, one with a few less speed bumps, a little less mud, no more dead ends, and a tree-lined drive would be nice if I am not asking for too much.
Thanks for the ramble.
5 minutes to Wapner…..