I didn’t do it! The famous last words of the guilty child. When you have multiple children and something has gone wrong the phrase “I didn’t do it” rings down from the heavens!
I found a hole conviently dug into the back seat in my truck. A hole the size of a quarter and growing bigger on the canvas of leather it now encompassed. Now since I have 4 kids and only 3 of them sit in the back, the eldest was immediately found innocent and released from custody. The other three of course continued to proclaim their innocence through many different mediums. The youngest took to screaming and crying stating he would swear on the life of his dog (he doesn’t have a dog) that he didn’t do it. The middle child, my daughter, just kept repeating over and over; not me dad not me! All while slyly pointing at the back of my youngest’s head. The 3rd boy of course was preaching much of the same all while flailing his arms around to get the point across and slyly pointing to my daughter.
I didn’t do it! A resounding argument, no facts needed, no clues given, just taken at its face value alone should help me in releasing my prisoners.
Just as the whining and sniveling started to reach its crescendo I noticed a sharp object in the hand of my daughter and as I pulled the sharp object from her hand the other two in unison both turn and shout “she did it” ahhh childhood justice! Freedom for the unjustly accused! For before I could lean down and ask her if she actually used the pen to make the hole she under quivering lip says; I’m sorry dad….and with tears running down her face she mumbles; I don’t know why I did it, but I can see your pretty mad and I’m sorry. As the other two chant like tribesmen looking for a beheading I take a deep breath, lean down and say ever so quietly. Thank you for telling me the truth. Don’t let it happen again and I love you….
Problem solved, and as my wife strolls in and ask what all the crying and sniveling is about I calmly look her dead in the eye and mutter “I didn’t do it”