Understand who you are, relish in your accomplishments, learn from your failures, accept change and dont ever be afraid to re-invent yourself from time to time.
One life to live, make it amazing….
Carry on that is all….
Category: Lifestyles
School yard blues..
As a child I traversed my way through life feeling invincible. There was nothing I couldn’t accomplish, no one was going to tell me what to do even when the advice was sound. My path had been chosen from approximately sixth grade. This long path, or road of hard knocks, left me mired in my own stubbornness, filled with ignorance along with self prescribed wisdom. I chose to forge through life at my own pace, following a road map that most would never wish upon their children. Yet I survived, and even though there are many things to regret about this road less traveled, it truly bore a hand in the man created through the journey.
So why am I lamenting these days of yore?
It appears my middle child is slowly heading down the same road at about the same age as myself. As a parent I wish to protect him from this journey. He is a wonderful young man with a smile that brightens even the darkest of rooms. He is witty, smart and incredibly charming and though these are fantastic traits to have it seems to be his crux right at the moment. His wit, not yet so formed that most understand the silliness or 
dryness of his joke. The smarts, is being used for alternate goals as opposed to his education. The charm, is allowing him the ability to slide sideways from situations most children would be held accountable for, by adults who definitely know better.
But the main reason for reflection is an issue he is having with a child at school who continues to bully him hoping for a fight. Now having been in a few scraps myself over the years and knowing that boys on occasion will fight at this age (uncontrollable testosterone flowing through their little systems) there is one golden rule in our household that must under no circumstance ever be broken when it comes to this particular problem. Never and I mean EVER start a fight with anyone under any circumstance! I don’t care what the other person has done, I don’t care what the other person has said; walk away. Tell a school administrator and walk away. My children all understand this one simple rule and to date my son has followed it to a tee! But I still worry, for you see as he genetically has adopted quite a few of my traits he has also inherited my seething Irish temper. The irish temper is a funny thing, for we can 
travel along as the butt of your joke for a very long time, even quipping a few sporting little retorts in the process. But then without explanation or reason one day it will have gone just a bit to far, them BLAM! I worry he is repressing that very same emotion during these encounters while remaining calm as a cucumber.
My sons have asked me if I had ever been in fights as a kid? To which the truth has always been told. Yes. Your father (do to my overwhelming charm of course) had his ass kicked more times than he would like to remember. Being one to not back down from a 
challenge most of my troubles were from my mouths amazing ability to say the wrong thing at just the right time. Something I am seeing in my middle child as we speak. And more times than not I lost. I was never a particularly good fighter, but I always stood my ground and hardley ever backed down.
So then why this steadfast rule for my children today?
Its root is based on some very simple facts. Today in the year 2013, our children have become so increasingly desensitized to violence I fear for the repercussions of a good old-fashioned knuckle buster. Because there is no such thing anymore. Some of my closest friends were people who disliked or disagreed with me to the point of a scrap. Afterwards realizing how insanely stupid it was we became friends. Those days are dead and gone. As an adult I have seen the repercussions of a fist fight gone bad. If you are scrapping some dude, friends of the opponent jump in, someone videos it for You Tube street cred, while another may be laying in wait with a knife to give you a good old-fashioned shanking if you beat one from their “posse”. Violence is as acceptable as drinking a Starbucks at a sidewalk cafe. Video games, movies, Television, MMA, UFC, all showing, teaching our children violence is not the last resort but the first alternative. 
You no longer try to figure out what you did wrong to upset this person, instead you just bitch about it to all your friends, shun the individual like the plague then jump that person like a stray alley cat. When it’s over there are no apologies, nothing learned from the incident, instead friends of the beaten start scrapping with your friends and the circle of violence rolls on and on. Also in my day we just boxed or duked it out! Today Karate, Jujitsu, Wrestling (and I was a wrestler in high school), Krav Magra are treated like after school sporting programs. So our children are becoming highly skilled fighters at very young ages. I am not saying there is anything wrong with these programs by any means, my sons have participated in these activities with some very stellar instructors. But it definitely changes the dynamics or social parameters of our children’s world.
Can things be changed?
No, I think we are inevitably doomed. We live in a culture surrounded by violence, protesting, warped media propaganda, criminals that receive more positive coverage than their victims, crime shows glorifying the act of the crime, shows about prisons and gangs, shows about fighting and everyone has a positive spin on where when and why, justifying the existence of what horrible acts they may have committed and we the quiet law-abiding citizens just shake our heads and wonder why. I hate the argument: if you don’t like it don’t buy it, or let them watch it! We turn off the T.V., the kids are not allowed to watch anything with heavy violence yet ultimately it’s not our family that have become the problem.
So what do we do as parents?
We prepare our children as best we can for the inevitable. Our children have done very well. But I still worry as I see the path my son is following seems to be resembling the very same path I strolled down as a kid. Where I grew up in the era of boys will be boys, and a good old-fashioned bop on the nose every now and again was good for ya, 
toughening you up and all… We are now in the era of duck and run, don’t protect yourself at all costs, even if some kid is beating on you for fear of being expelled and then go tell a teacher. (who really have no teeth to do anything because teachers have had their hands tied thanks to our passive school system.) The kids in school know this and act accordingly.
So I ask, am I the only one who feels this way? Am I worrying over nothing? What have you done to prepare your children for dealing with a bully? Not an emotional bully (thats a whole different topic for a different time)but an actual I want to fight you today, right here, right now, I think you are a big fat stupid head; bully?
My Words of Wisdom for the Day
If you were to die tomorrow could you say you lived a life to be proud of?
I thought about this quite a bit on the way home from the firehouse this morning.
There is no right or wrong answer, either yes or no. If yes, fantastic! If you are comfortable with no then great!
But??????
If by saying no it makes you ponder, then (and this is just a suggestion) maybe it’s time to sit down, re-evaluate where you are headed and create a change that fits your lifestyle.
With my words of wisdom I am always happy to hear from people and how it relates to them. Today I would like everyone who reads this to tell me what they are most proud of in their lives.
Then pass it on! I want to hear from as many people as possible!
It seems to me we live in a world of negativity, sooo….
Maybe just maybe if enough people read this and answer that one simple question, we can awaken our feelings and create a more positive atmosphere in our lives? Just a thought.
Carry on that is all…
My Words of Wisdom for the Day
The realization that your parents were right and you really don’t know everything, is the very moment life for you will change for the better.
Just saying…
Carry on that is all….
Friend
What is a friend?
I feel as parents we sometimes skip over the obvious things that require attention when raising our children. Oh sure, I am a big believer in “leading by example”, the number one way for a child to absorb the rights and wrongs of this world. But sometimes we are not always there to lead by example. There are times when no is looking that our children have to make decisions without our input.
There are many tried and true statements that we as parents spew forth on a daily basis.
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you
Speak to people the way you expect to be spoken too.
Listening can be more valuable than speaking
Cleanliness is next to godliness
Put the toilet seat down
Wash your hands
blah, blah, blah,
etc….
One of the most important decision-making ventures in a young childs life is who will become their friends. There is no manual for this aspect of childhood! No ability for us as parents to interview prospective candidates thusly weeding out anyone who is not up to snuff! At times we as parents may or may not have a say in this matter as many “friends” are nothing more than names we hear a little about during conversations away from school. These are kids our children spend the day with but don’t socialize with outside of school. If you think because they don’t spend time with these children outside of school these children are not molding your childs ideals you would be wrong.
Very much like an office, we have people we socialize with inside and outside the office (inner circle) then there is the “filler” (outer circle)those people who you work alongside, go to lunch with but when its quitting time the relationship time clock has just punched out.
The “Fillers” still have a profound impact on our day-to-day mental acuity. From idle conversation to gossip, to full-blown “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” bullshit! These people are there preying upon our very emotional survival!
So how do we go about guiding our children in selecting and keeping quality friends? Helping them to spot the “Real Housewives” of this world?
Once again it may be left to setting the example. Over the years many people have come and gone in my life. Some needed to go, while a few were the product of life changes. There are those who I miss dearly and there are the core few who are still a constant in my life today.
So what is the secret? How do we continue to guide our children without disturbing the natural order of things? Listen I know every person they meet and interact with will help mold, change and craft who they become as adults. But I still want a say, I still want to be there giving them just a little guidance, using my years of experience in this particular arena!
Maybe I worry too much. Maybe I should just trust them and be there when things go to hell! Maybe, just maybe leading by example really does pay off in all aspects.
So to my children, someday when you read this story (and you will). I have many friends, people I care about and would do just about anything for; It is not in my nature to miss an opportunity to help someone in need or to make a new friend. So I have created a list of what it means to be my friend. Some are true heartfelt descriptions while others are a mixture of satire and actual events that solidified a few long-term, diehard friendships. Hopefully this list will be of some help to you all in the future.
What it takes to be my friend
- Willing to drop what you are doing no matter the time of day or night to help.
- Can bear each others burden without judgement
- Understands we may not always see eye to eye but in no way does that diminish the respect we hold for each other.
- See’s my wife as my equal and understands she comes first.
- Gives me shit when I screw up but will defend me to the death if someone else jumps on the bandwagon.
- Takes my car keys away when I am drinking.
- Lets me vent and doesn’t take offense if I become passionate about my point.
- Isnt disappointed in me for being a life long Cowboys fan.
- Has no problem reprimanding my children or with me reprimanding theirs. “It takes a village”
- Has my back, period.
- Continues to keep secret the time we stole a police car!
- Understands that “going fishing” is code for; we are gonna throw some lines in the water and drink a shit load of beer!
- Forgives me for the time I let you go upstairs with a really drunk girl who threw up on you.
- Pulls me from a garbage can after getting thoroughly tossed
- Understands I am a complete smart ass and appreciates me for my efforts.
- Lets my narcissism flourish because well; lets face it, I am great, to know me is to love me!
- Allows me to stand between them and some mouthy jackass, preventing a fight even though the jackass really needed to have his skull thumped.
- likes me even though musically I am still trapped in the 80’s
- Never lets me forget the time I got sea sick in some of the worst weather on record while salmon fishing!
- Know and I mean know, if you are my friend I will cry when you cry, I will laugh when you laugh, I will bleed when you bleed, if you are angry I am angry as well! You have made it past the thick layers that form who I am and for that I will remain like an old blood hound, on the porch waiting for the chance to hunt by your side again.
My Words of Wisdom for the Day
Teaching your child the right way to perform a task then correcting them when its not completed to your standards is of the utmost importance. Allowing your child to “half-ass” that same task and walk away is setting them up for failure as an adult. Dont worry thier little self -esteems you are so frantically trying to protect will actually thrive from the feeling of a job well done..
Carry on that is all….
Procrastination…
Procrastination-To procrastinate
Definition of PROCRASTINATE
transitive verb
: to put off intentionally and habitually
intransitive verb
: to put off intentionally the doing of something that should be done
My name is Betty and I am a staunch procrastinator! This is who I am. Its sad but true. Understanding the habit does not make it any better. The cure seems to elude me. I procrastinate on a daily basis.
Example; right now I should be working on a closet that is halfway dismantled yet here I sit writing about procrastinating. Which is of the higher priority? (not a test question so answer as you see fit)
Three times in the last three years I have obtained information that would have reunited me with someone special in my life, I being consistent in my behavioral patterns, procrastinated and now they are gone. Leaving me to forever wonder what would have been, what could have been and what will never become of those relationships. Only God knows the answer now.
My children have genetically obtained the procrastination gene and I watch with shameful pity as they struggle, wondering why they can’t seem to finish items of priority in a timely manner. They too will carry this sickness onto their children and the circle of life will continue..
So through this little pity party I am throwing, I say this; learn from my mistakes. Don’t procrastinate! You have one life, time is of the essence, don’t waste those moments when a difference can be made and most of all; prioritize then set out to finish your goals.
Have a wonderful day everyone, I hear a closet calling me!
I wonder whats happening on Facebook? No the closet is calling I have to go!!
My Words of Wisdom for the Day
To reach the road to success one must first walk a path built on failure.
Just saying, carry in that is all….
Resolutions…….
Well I wasn’t going to do it! I promised myself and screamed to all who would listen! No way in hell was there any chance of me writing about New Year’s resolutions. Everyone does it; the blogosphere is loaded with rambling and grumblings about new promises, kept promises from years past and flat out lies. Nope, no way! It just wasn’t going to happen!
Then it dawned on me. We; as in the human race aren’t supposed to be here! The world according to the Mayan culture along with several 
thousand overly educated individuals was to have met its fiery demise on December 21st! Yet here we are, 7 full days after the end of the world and a mere 3 days from the beginning of a new recording of time (2013).
So what does this all mean for me and the loathing I hold towards New Year’s resolutions?
It’s a new age, a new beginning, it’s the first day of the rest of my life, and therefore I should put aside my personal feelings and be celebrating not commiserating. The very thought of making resolutions once a year to solidify the minor changes one should make accordingly throughout the year long cycle is absurd at best! Yet for some reason my heart feels obliged to give it a shot. 2013 New beginning, first days and all, it just makes plain good old sporting sense..
So here it goes!
I Betty resolve in 2013 too…
Not be so damn sarcastic! Shit I have already failed…. I TOLD YOU THIS WOULDN’T WORK!!!
Ok I’ll try again…
I Betty do solemnly resolve in 2013 too…
Quit being so angry: unless of course the situation warrants it, or it’s needed to purposely expound a point! Or my Irish becomes inflamed, or even if I am trapped in a situation where tolerance over ignorance shown towards stay at home fathers and dads in
general becomes more than I can take, thusly leaving me no choice but to rage against a proponent with my expert use of the English language in an obscure tirade upon my blog. Yeah passive aggressive attack, that’s the ticket! See it’s easy to put aside blood boiling rage and quit being so angry! Maybe this isn’t so bad! Let’s try another one!
Laugh more with my children: A child’s laughter is a gift from god and should be enjoyed every chance we get. Plus by sharing in the laughter you are helping teach your children to laugh and relax, thereby allowing them to share the very same learned expressions with friends, ultimately leading to your children being able to laugh at themselves; a good quality by the way. Of course there is the exception to the rule; you know when they are laughing 
and you are not due to them having done something so erroneous there can be no alternative emotion than to become irritated. Such as finding pee all over the bathroom floor and dripping down the sides of the toilet! Recognizing the difference between light dirt and poo smeared across the shower curtain! Oh yes, because apparently our little angels eyeballs haven’t developed to the point of recognizing the need for toilet paper BEFORE sitting down to do their business! Yet the pea sized brain has acquired a MacGyver like reflex allowing them the ability to think quickly and improvise in sticky situations leading to the shower curtain being used as Charmin! Yeah the laughter is real hearty while donning latex gloves and decontaminating the old levorotary! Laughter has a tendency to fall off the charts after I have told them several times to clean their rooms and all they’ve done is throw a sheet on their
beds after shoving everything that was on the floor under the bed and into the closet! Or after begging them to feed their animals before dark only to be ignored! Now that it’s dark outside no one is going to go out to the barn and feed, so instead of having just done it the first time they were asked they throw a crying screaming fit about how scared they are in the dark and they really shouldn’t have to go out and feed now cause it’s just too damn scary! Yep more laughing is coming right up in 2013!
Eat healthier foods: last year was a real life changer for me in this department! Eating was not just a means for sustenance it was an event! Big breakfast, big lunch and even bigger dinners! The only exercise my body partook in was getting a beer from the fridge along with the subsequent 12 ounce curls that followed! But I made 
a change and lost 20 pounds this year alone! So I promise to keep up the good work with a solid diet and exercise to match! Holidays will be the exception of course. Where I shall continue to stuff my face with all the greatest holiday creations one can muster! Cookies, chocolate, mince pies, cupcakes, more chocolate, apple pies, pumpkin pies, candies of all sizes and did I mention chocolate? Other than that all healthy foods, in small portions; oops I need to also include dinners at the firehouse as an exemption, I mean I really have no control over what someone else cooks, and I wouldn’t want to be perceived as rude so firehouse dinners are definitely out! But for every other meal, Yes! Better, healthier foods coming right up!
Go green in 2013! Our family is a huge believer in replenishing our resources by reusing and recycling! Nothing brings us a greater sense of good than helping out our environment! We placed windmills on the roof of our shop to produce electricity and are looking forward to possibly placing solar panels on the property generating more electricity for ourselves and others who may benefit! But we have one larger issue. We need to purchase a fuel efficient “green” truck, yet the last time I checked they don’t make a fuel efficient “green” vehicle to replace my 3/4 ton diesel truck 
that is connected to a horse trailer pretty much all week long and in today’s economy it really isn’t feasible to purchase a “green” car and a new “lesser carbon footprint” truck to replace my tattered old truck! So to go green it’s going to cost us well over $100,000 dollars! Who the hell has that kind of cash lying around? Cold day in hell before a loan for $100,000.00 is taken out under my name for anything other than a house! Maybe I should just stay focused on recycling materials? Smokey truck, recycling cans, see one offsets the other, I am already ahead for 2013!
Drink less alcohol: Social drinking has always been a big part of my life! Nothing beats having a brew with your buds or a glass of wine with your lovely wife! At three in the morning when you have had to much, just get up, hover over the toilet and purge away! Good times and weight loss rolled into one! Yet having cut back dramatically in 2012 I have recognized the need to do more!
Drinking can definitely become a health concern and at my age I really need to be focusing more attention on life longevity. Speaking of life longevity on the Dr. Oz show I saw red wine is actually good for you! Seriously, a couple of glasses a night are supposedly good for your heart! Man that’s like almost a bottle a night! Yee Ha! Maybe I’ll have to re-think the whole drinking even less theory and look into the redeeming factors associated with Jack Daniels too? Anyone?
There you have it! Betty has gone against his better judgment and laid out five resolutions for 2013! Funny though, I feel as if they are destined for failure and I am not sure why? Maybe it’s that whole sarcasm resolution I failed in the beginning. Hmmmmmm…..
My Words of Wisdom for the Day
Those who say you will never amount to anything are really just projecting their own fallacies. Its bullying through intimidation. Hold your head high, be proud of who you are and thrive. Carry on that is all..
They call me Betty 