Some see a rainy day as gloomy, even depressing. These are the same people who see a sunny day as to windy, too hot, unbearable. I say each day should be enjoyed for the day that it has become. Just a thought. Carry on that is all…
Month: November 2012
Feeling the sense of urgency associated with time is daunting to say the least. But this definitely captures the feelings of many in regards to a life lived and the endless rotation of the earth… Betty….
How Puppies Make Decisions
This is very funny!
Who Am I??
Who am I?
Several times in my life I have pondered this very question. Now of course I know my name, where I live, who my parents are and where I came from not only geographically but through genealogy as well. But really, who am I? One would believe the answer to be forthright, rapid in response, easy to answer, yet it never has been in my experience.
Who am I?
Father
Husband
Friend
Firefighter
Cowboy
Biker
Athlete
Writer
Fisherman
Oh sure they all sound great! Are these labels I have placed upon myself the answer to who I am or are they the answer to what am I? After all I am a father of four who is married, leaving me the husband to one awesome woman. I try my very best to be a good friend to those who have decided to keep me in their “circle of trust”. Firefighter is my day job; it has definite highs in conjunction with incredibly heavy lows which leave enormous scars upon my soul. I live the life of a modern day cowboy, riding horses and working cows a couple of times a week with 
other cowboy friends. Cleaning stalls, fixing fence and building barns are all part of my daily routine. I used to be a solid steadfast biker (motorcycles), anything with two wheels was my motto, but that was before children. Occasionally I am blessed with the ability to ride a friend’s bike and I look forward to the day when I am back on two wheels of my own. In my youth I was an average athlete and as of late I have reconnected with my athletic, competitive side. A writer only in effort as nothing I have written has ever been published. The majority of my writings are nothing more than the rambling drivel of a father looking to express his feelings laden with humor and sarcasm. I am always hoping to connect with other parents so we may all laugh at not only our own shortcomings, but the trials and tribulations of raising our two legged little spawn to adulthood. And as for being a fisherman, well I love to fish, enough said.
These all describe through title various aspects of my being, but like I stated earlier; are they who I am? Or are they nothing more than the byproduct of my existence?
Who am I?
Every time I ask this question of myself the answer seems to drift farther away.
Who am I? Then, when trapped and stunted by my own inability to answer this question to satisfaction, my brain decides to throw a curve ball by asking; can I become more and will that sustain me?
As a father I stare into my children’s eyes and pray someday they will be able to answer this very same question; a question which has haunted me my entire life! A moment in time when they will no longer go through life feeling as though a piece is missing or there is an unanswered question that looms on the horizon as is with myself. But a solid foundation of fact that leaves them proud of who they are and what they have become. Able to stand up and answer the question; who am I, with conviction and pride!
Sadly I cannot. I can spout reflections on journeys past; live through the titles that bear my name, yet for some strange reason I cannot tell you who I am. Maybe it’s a philosophical question that can never be answered? Maybe my expectations are set so high that I may never achieve true knowledge in this regard, maybe I have A.D.D. which leaves my wheels spinning and my brain chasing butterflies.
Maybe I yam what I yam and that’s all that I yam? 
But I wonder,
Can you answer the question; who am I?
My Words of Wisdom for the Day
Those who walk through life with blinders on shouldn’t act surprised when blindsided. Just saying..
Carry on that is all….
My Words of Wisdom for the Day
Before Microsoft and the I-anything allowed us to disappear from reality at the touch of a finger, there was this amazing super computer. Small and compact this computer was not much bigger than your fist. It’s lightning fast and able to figure out complex problems through verbal commands. Sometimes it wouldn’t give you the answers right away, you might have needed to work for them a little. But with time and effort the reward was yours in the end. Much like the computers of today, it can’t physically take you anyhere, but it will transport you wherever you choose to go.
This wonderful supercomputer is called your brain! Turn off one device and turn your brain back on, you might be surprised by what you learn.
Carry on that is all…
My Words of Wisdom for the Day
If all is not as it seems, could it seem like I was in Vegas instead? Just wondering. Carry on that is all..
My Words of Wisdom for the Day.
When opening ones mouth to insert ones foot. Shoe size in no way changes the outcome, or the taste. Just saying..
Carry on that is all…
My Words of Wisdom for the Day
I have only one true ambition in life and that is to become a better human being today than I was yesterday. Just saying..
Carry on that is all…..
Chocolate
CHOCOLATE CHOCOLATE CHOCOLATE CHOCOLATE CHOCOLATE
Hello everyone: My name is Betty and I am a choco-holic!
Everyone: HELLO BETTY
Betty: Its been six long days since I have partaken in the sinful, uninhibited, mind altering ecstasy that is chocolate!
Everyone: (round of applause) good for you Betty, good for you!!!
Betty: as much as I enjoy and long for your love and admiration, I have failed you all…
Everyone: heavy sigh with muttered speech around the circle
Betty: (Shoulders slumped)
I awoke this morning from a restless night of tossing and turning, cold sweats ravaging my system. I tried contacting my sponsor but she was unavailable( ok she was asleep right next to me)! It was terrible, TERRIBLE I TELL YOU!!!! I can hear it (chocolate) calling my name in the middle of the night! The house is quiet, and yet there it is, taunting me, calling my name! BETTTYY, BEETTYYYY, COME EAT ME!
The chocolate rustling from within a satchel, squirming, rubbing together so the cellophane makes a very distinct sound. MMMMMM Chocolate! I just can’t stand it! I CANT STAND FREAKING STAND IT!!!!!
This is the way I picture a support group devoted to the insane addiction that is chocolate. Together as one we discuss the evil side effects associated with loving chocolate just a little too much! guidance and help provided to get you through a day without finding yourself holed up in a downstairs closet, gorging on a fist full of dark, creamy sin, hoping no one from your family finds you in this degrading example of uncontrollable excess!
It’s truly a struggle for us chocoholics! Its our drug of choice! Having a bad day? Nothing a Dove bar can’t fix! Gotten in an argument with your significant other? Well that Reese’s peanut butter cup is just the ticket! Kids giving you a migraine? Stand back Mounds bar you are all mine and if you don’t like it, I’ll eat your little buddy Almond joy too! It’s that simple! One lick, one sniff, just a little taste, you’re hooked and there is no coming back!!!!!
Making matters worse our society has screwed chocoholics to the wall by enveloping certain holidays with candy! Any holiday where candy is present is a holiday where chocolate rules the day! So when Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and the ever so dreaded EASTER come around we sit, salivating at the mere prospect of having one day, just one where we can stuff our faces in public without scrutiny from the fitness police!
Hell at Christmas time what is the gift of choice for most business partners, acquaintances, distant family members and friends? SEE’S CANDIES!!!! Yep that’s right they opened a store dedicated to nothing but CHOCOLATE!!! Its like finally getting my medical marijuana card then being told I can only shop for product once a year. One month and one month only the dispensary opens up allowing me to fulfil all mymarijuana needs!
So whats a guy like me to do? A man who can smell chocolate pulling into a parking lot at 300 feet! A man who over the last 2 years has lost close to 40 pounds by fighting, working out and struggling to eat healthy! A man who on Halloween night watched his children divvying up their candy treasure like a hawk eyes its future dinner from above, waiting for the right moment to strike! As the kids placed their treasure back into Halloween sacks for safe keeping, my mouth salivating at the thought of locating these sacks then prying them from there secure spots for future pillaging. I know its wrong. I really do!!
Yet I can hear the chocolate calling, like a zombie only living off the urge to bite, I follow my snapping jaw towards fresh meat, it’s there and chomping into it will bring a frenzied relief to my suffering. I struggle with this feeling on a daily basis.
A valiant effort was put forth last night, but before long as with all addicts I succumbed to the urge, finally giving in to my inner demons around midnight! Looking back on it now, it was sad really; There I sat on the floor in the kitchen, bags in hand sobbing 
uncontrollably as piece after piece made its way down my gullet. Melted chocolate on my lips, chin and hands. I cried out of disgust for the 3200 calories I had just ingested, I cried for letting myself down, I cried for the hypocrisy of teaching my children not to steal from each other and yet here I sat red-handed (or chocolate-brown handed as it were) stealing piece after piece from someones secret stash! Oh yes a pathetic shell of a man covered in milky way, caramel, peanut butter and dark chocolate. But what made it the biggest failure of all?
It felt good! Sugar, chocolate, sweetness coursing through my veins, bringing relief to the cold sweaty pains of laying in bed knowing it was downstairs!
I was found in the morning surrounded by candy wrappers, in the same location on the kitchen floor. I awoke from my chocolate coma, disoriented, blurry eyed surrounded by little people staring down at the lump of a father who laid before them. I could have asked for forgiveness but they have heard it all before. No tears, no anger, no hurtful words were spoken. Just the woeful tired look glaring back from eyes of disappointment. I sat up and tried to speak, but three heads looked to the ground as the oldest pointed upstairs, suggesting that I leave.
As I headed upstairs, feeling as low as a snakes belly I heard the littlest one mumble to my oldest; I found him first and kissed him to wake him up. He was sweaty and it tasted like a milky way. That is weird right? The oldest quietly answered back it was weird and together they decided it was time to hide what remained so I may never ever find it..
As I turned the corner at the top of the landing, my daughter was overheard mumbling; maybe we should just give the chocolate away so we never end up like dad.. They all agreed. See maybe I am teaching them something after all…..
My name is Betty and I am a chocoholic…..
They call me Betty 