I have had enough! Yep that’s right, Betty’s hackles are up and I am ready for some good old-fashioned butt whooping! I am really at a loss for the ignorance that is placed upon the fathers of this country! Its time that we stand together and put an end to the erroneous labeling that has befallen our hard-working dads. To expunge these myths or beliefs! To stand tall and say: I’m mad as hell and I am not going to take it anymore!
By now I am sure you are wondering what has Betty’s blood pressure up? What could make me so upset, that I would go upon ranting like a loon? Well let me tell you…
Nothing sends me into a tirade faster than full-grown, educated adults falling to stereotypes set forth by the losers in our society. Let me define “loser’ for you.
A loser in Betty’s mind is a person of no moral fiber, a person who uses or allows themselves to be used. A person who allows society to label them and then is proud to wear the obvious insult the label has placed upon them like a badge of honor. A person who has lost themself.
What I am about to describe may not seem like a big deal to some but for me it is definitely indicative of the many problems that has befallen our parenting society today.
Here we go…..
At no point and time are you to ever refer to me as “babysitting” when you see me with all my kids in the truck!
example; Hey dude so I see you’re “babysitting” the kids today huh?
I am not babysitting, they are my children! Mine, not the neighbors, not some friends, not my relatives they are mine all mine! My wife and I created them, we love them and just because my wife is currently not present. Does not mean I am babysitting my own kids! Baby sitting is reserved for 12-17 year old-young adults looking for part-time work in the child care field.
The amazing thing is this comment comes from people I know who have kids! I might expect it from a single person who has no obvious realization or affiliation with children and the responsibilities they entail. But from a married father of three! Give me a freaking break!
Hey teacher I am over here! Yep that’s right, apparently it is such a rarity these days for dad to take an interest in his child’s education that teachers cannot seem to look us in the eye. Talk to mom all you want but until you take a moment to recognize that I am here, I will do my best to make our encounter uncomfortable. I will always give you at least three chances to “wake up” and start including me in your conversation, but if you blow all three, the attitude is coming out! I am there during homework, I am present during school activities and I am there when my kids need me, their fore I am there to hear everything you have to tell me about my childs progress or lack there of.
Never ever refer to the father of you child as baby-daddy! Yo that my childs baby-daddy! Its disgusting, its degrading and its self loathing. That man is the father of your child and regardless of your beliefs or lack of beliefs he is and always will be more than the genetic fragment you so freely toss about!
No I don’t need you to change a diaper for me! I know what poop looks like, I am pretty sure I know what poop smells like and guess what? Changing diapers is not rocket science! I definitely do not need someone to decipher the magic code of diapers for me! Our childs little package is not the holy grail needing Mother Teresa or one of her busy bodied minions to handle it with holy hands! And for all you so-called “dads” that instantly pass your child off to your wife when ever there appears to be a loaded diaper on the horizon! You are a candy ass! Yep that’s right, you lazy self absorbed candy ass! Oh sure you can handle a wrench, fix a car, save a life, but apparently changing a poopy diaper is beneath you? Not! You sir are a sorry excuse for a dad and a lazy candy ass! Oh yeah and to you nosy female friends that also believe changing a diaper falls solely upon mom or her selcted few from within the “inner” circle. Quit butting in and trying to take the child when it is his turn to change the diapers! Save the butt kissing for something important like a promotion!
Ummm I have something to tell you...
Last but certainly not least. My wife and I are on the same page. I am not a fraction in this parenting relationship! We are 50/50! If you have something to say to one, you have something to say to both! If there is a problem with our child you will not wait until you can talk to her! You will tell me, I will deal with it and I will inform my wife 100% about what the problem may be the moment I see her. We don’t believe in keeping things from each other so if you are worried about what ever punishment my child may receive if you tell me. Rest assured they will receive the same punishment if you wait and tell only her! Plus what message is that sending? That mean old dad is going to come down on that kid like a ton of bricks? So you will wait and tell gentler softer mom? Got news for you, my mom was way tougher than my dad! So put your crappy stereotype aside and let me know; what is the problem?
There you have it! I have let the proverbial “cat out of the bag”! The cat is angry and a little shaken, but its out! Think I am crazy, or think I am right on target, I just hope I made you think…..
Now go sit in the timeout chair!
8 thoughts on “A fathers rant.”
It’s refreshing to read someone that sounds like my husband. He was the first to hold our son, the first to change his diaper, bathe, dress. HE was the one that wore the baby sling and carried him when he started walking and got tired. I think like you, as does my husband, the fathers that don’t change diapers are wimps. Thank you for this, it’s good to see not all dads are candy asses!!
Did you know the definiton of “Dad” is; ones father? Its to bad the defintion doesnt fullfil the assumption of what a true father is or can become. Regardless, there are many of us “fathers” out there that fully understand our role in the relationship between father and child is more than that of just a sperm donor. And your welcome, the more “candy asses” we can expose the better our reputation as true fathers will become!
I am glad you have a good man by your side! You are one of the lucky ones! No candy asses for you! 🙂
Thanks for reading my blog and thank you for the comment. Betty….
I completely get what you’re saying, us women have to deal with it in the more male-dominated areas. When getting the car fixed, or buying a new car, if there is a male with us then the explanations will invariably be directed at him, even if it’s our car, and we are the one that has explained the problem or described what we want. Same if any kind of guy comes to the house to fix anything. On one occasion, when I was not accompanied by a male I was even asked “Shall I phone your husband to explain the work that needs to be done here?”. I know those things aren’t as personal as when it’s your child, but I can at least imagine how it feels for you!
Yes it is truly obnoxious the way we are treated! We ask for equality but for some reason it always falls back to a defined perception of how things were “meant to be” by societies standard! Thanks for understanding….
Vanessa, that is another pet peeve of mine. The patronization of women in regards to male dominated fields of expertise! And really “shall I phone your husband”? How about no maybe we should phone your supervisor so I can explain to them what a condesending jerk you are? Just saying. I agree its frustrating from both sides. Thanks for understanding. Betty….
My wife travels a lot, which leaves my son and I to have some great quality time together. I’m used to the “how are you going to manage” and “are you guys gonna be okay” comments, because well, frankly, my dad is one of the dead beats that these awful stereotypes you rant about are derived. I’m happy to be the opposite of him, happy to be a great father to my son…and amused that so many people are confused by it! Thanks for your post!
Cody, I know there is a reason for the labels society has placed upon us dads. I am sorry your father fit into that mold, but the rest of us need to speak up and let the world know its not ok. I am glad you are one of those dads that takes an interest in you child! The both of you will benefit greatly from your commitment. Best wishes to you and your son, Betty…