Every day we travel through a world filled with the unknown. Our existence centered on being over here at a certain time, over there later in the day, a meeting with friends, or hustling constantly checking our electronic organizers. Our lives intertwined within the movements of a clock or the expectations of others.
How many times have we sat down at the end of an evening to utter these words; where did the day go? How many days in a row before we recognize the week is over and we mumble the exact same sentiment; where did the week go? The insanity of it can be mind-boggling as we continue placing an emphasis on agendas. Lost is the importance of our life, what it means to us in conjunction with the gift of having another day. Forgetting about finding a moment during each one of those days that resonates, becomes a memory or a topic for conversation. Real conversation too, not a text or Facebook posting.
George Strait has a song that always helps me slow down and remember that each day is a gift.
Just walked down the street to the coffee shop
Had to take a break
I’ve been by her side 18 hours straight
Saw a flower growing in the middle of the sidewalk, pushing up through the concrete
Like it was planted right there for me to see
The flashing lights, the honking horns
All seems to fade away, but in the shadow of the hospital at 5:08
I saw God today..
I’ve been to church, I’ve read the book, I know he’s here but I don’t look, near as often as I should
His fingerprints are everywhere, I just look down and stop and stare,
Open my eyes and then I swear,
I saw God today…..
And so it goes.
With everything happening in our life, it can become easy to be angry. Today I had a wonderful conversation with a friend about all that is happening in my life. I wonder why I am not angry. It is easy to just say you are not angry when you really should be; placing the classic stoic face on this bump in the road instead. But I just can’t find any anger inside to dwell upon. God has given me so much, God has given us, my wife and family so very much. In a life where blame is the first bony finger pointed out of malice. Who would I blame? Who could I blame? Why would I waste the time and energy? It is what it is, even if that “is” sucks!
There is a plan for all of us. Whether you believe in a God, no God, a higher power or some form of spiritual awakening. There is a plan. I have always believed our lives have some purpose, some meaning and it is up to us to find what that meaning is. We can travel through life as I explained above, with blinders on and no recollection of any real purpose or need, never finding or fulfilling moments of remembrance and that is fine, if that is all you want out of life. To bad really, since you only get one shot at it. But for me, I know through hard work, an even temper, leaving my eyes wide open to all possibilities the plan will reveal itself. Being angry at the cards dealt does no one any good. Play those cards instead and believe victory is yours.
So we move forward with a positive attitude. All will be fine, we will rise above and walk away from this emotional roller coaster ride with our heads held high. We will hold hands through old age, cherishing our children, our grandchildren and laugh. Laugh at all the memories, laugh at all the little moments, laugh at beating the odds, beating so much sorrow that can arise from these situations, laugh and thank God for all that we continue to have placed before us..
Today I …
Saw a horse nuzzling a newborn foal
Saw my children laughing at nothing, and everything all at once
Watched as my son rode through a practice really well
Stared at my mare grazing in a pasture of green surrounded by other mares ready to foal just as she is ready to foal. The miracle of birth waiting to arrive.
Rode one of my favorite horses and it brought peace and contentment to a tired soul
Visited with friends celebrating a birthday, laughing, joking and having a really good time
Watched my son’s friend look like he wanted to ride a horse, while being too shy to ask
Talked with my daughter after her game of softball, listening to her tell me about it filled my heart with joy.
Played Legos with my youngest, creating cars to battle an imagery foe.
Hugged my wife, kissed her beautiful bald head and melted as she smiled at me
Feel blessed for everything I have.
Sitting here staring at my computer, looking at the mountain range behind my house I know;
I saw God today.
I read this as I am getting ready for church this am. I pray I can be filled with so much faith and hope and love! If church can touch me half as much this am…I am truly blessed. Thanks Betty
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You are welcome my friend.
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I feel so lucky to have found your blog. Your words comfort me right now. I’m the woman whose husband was just diagnosed with AML last week. He is on Day 3 of chemo. I’m very fearful mostly of his suffering and not being around to see our 15 month old son grow up. I know I must remain positive and I do believe that God is there for us. I continue to pray for your family.
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I am so glad you reached out! He will have some rough moments along the way. When he begins to feel down because he is trapped in the hospital, just listen. When he feels as though he can’t, gently show him he can. Never focus your energy on the negatives, always work on the positives and you both will find room to breathe as you trudge through this experience. He has a right to be sad, upset and angry. Let him feel all those emotions as they arise then smile and remind him you love him. You two have a long road ahead, his job is to heal and come into remission, nothing more. Your job is to be the very best partner you can be. God bless you both and please ask me questions any time! I will do my best with what I have learned along the way! 😃
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