5 things I despise

5 things I despise

Recently (10 minutes ago) I decided it was time to purge a little anger.  A little societal frustration.  I usually do this through a singular rant but today I have chosen to drop 5 mini rants upon your superior minds.  I am hoping to not be alone in these little idiosyncrasy’s as I have always felt discussion is good for the soul or at least the conscience.

So with my head held high, my britches pulled tight and my jaw squarely locked into place here they are…..

5. People who cut in line because they believe they are more important than you.

While waiting patiently for the car in front of me to finish fueling there always seems to be some A-Hole circling the islands like a shark waiting for the right time to strike.  Without regards for his own personal safety, or the feelings of the twenty other vehicles waiting in line. This moron inevitably will come in from the opposite direction and try to force his way in as the last patron is leaving.  This never works as my truck is rather large and intimidating.  I am always scowled at or given a gesture of the highest moral ranking upon exit of my vehicle.  To which I respond the same as I would one of my children.  Have some manners and wait your turn, you are no better than anyone else.

4. The California stop.

It called a STOP SIGN!!!!! Stop means stop! It doesn’t mean think about it, it’s not a suggestion for you to ponder while chatting it up on your cell phone as you go barreling through the intersection!  Dont you dare throw your hands up in disgust as I come to a full and complete stop either.  I will just drive slower to the next intersection, in fact I will continue to slow down and more closely follow all the rules of the road just to frustrate you.  Why do I do this? Because its like this you lackadaisical idiot, in the end if you don’t “STOP” someone will end up injured or killed! And statistics show it wont be you.  

3. Parents who make excuses for their childs obvious poor behavior!

Yes its ok for little Timmy to express himself, but when that involves your 8-year-old telling my 7-year-old to F@#k Off! We have a serious problem on our hands!  If you don’t have the crumpets to reprimand your child I do!  If my child were to speak that way I would hope you would reprimand him quickly and decisively! If that doesn’t sit well with you than politely remove yourself and your child from my inner circle of friends and acquaintances.  I feel as though we as a society have forgotten in the end it takes a village to raise a child. 

2.   Upselling

I am a tightwad! I didn’t used to be, but my glorious wife over the last ten years has shown me the light.  Because I am a tightwad, making a large purchase is a homework driven, educational process that leads down many paths in regards to my purchase.  My point being, when I walk through your door to make a purchase I already know what I want and exactly how much I am going to pay.  Dont play me for a fool, don’t shove useless purchase contracts in front of me and make sure you listen to the words that are coming out of my mouth!  If I tell you I don’t want the 5 year service plan then STOP.  If I make mention the added receiver for only $29.99 is something I am not interested in STOP!  I am blunt, I will let you know everything I need up front, so please just STOP. Because if you dont my next STOP is your competitor.

1.   The little twirp at the grocery store that wishes to “help” me out with my groceries!

Hey junior, look at me, no really look at me! I am a 45-year-old, 188 pound man standing 5’9 who can currently run an 8 minute mile and curl 75 pound dumbbells! I am reasonably sure that I can carry my two little bags of groceries in one hand and your scrawny, “Wheres Waldo” beanie wearing ass in the other! I know you are just doing your job, but somebody needs to train you a little better in the area of qualifying customers.  Someday when you have become my age I hope you will demand the same respect. 

So there it is! A little bolder than in times past, if I have offended anyone I do apologize.   But the way I see it the word unspoken is obviously the word most misunderstood. 

Let me know if you agree or disagree with any of my 5.  Also let me know what your 5 things are that you despise.  Sometimes they are funny, sometimes they are serious but in the end they are what makes us who we are, and that is very interesting. 

4 thoughts on “5 things I despise

  1. Amen to all 5! Here are mine:

    My #5 is a variation on yours. When you’re on the freeway/highway when lanes either merge, or there is a line up for a congested exit and the azzhat who has seen that there is a line at least a half a mile long declines to merge/get in line for the exit with everyone else and races up to the very front and then gets pissy when you ride the bumper of the guy in front of you (equally pissing them off in the process surely) just to make the point that you should have gotten in line like all the normal people!!!

    #4 People who call me ma’am like I’m 80 years old. I realize I’m too damn old to be called “miss” but there is nothing wrong with playing it safe as using Ms.

    #3 Justin Bieber

    #2 Your #3 – that shit just pisses me off to no end. I am trying very hard to teach my daughter manners and how to behave in public. If she breaks it, I buy it, because I am responsible when she is a tornado of destruction.

    The #1 thing that irks me that is really silly of me to be irked over and I should just leave it alone, is people who call it their “ATM PIN number”… redundant much?? Your Personal Identification Number Number??? It’s just your PIN, plain and simple!!!

    Really liking your take on things (probably because we seem to agree on many things!)


    1. Yes! Yes and Yes! Your number 5 is spot on! I almost put a variation on number 4, but being called “sir” isnt really all that bad. Number 3 yup, enough said! Number 1, well lets just say my number 6 is a variation of your number 1. It’s use of the word irregardlessly. There is no such word! its regardless you dolt! Yes I know irregardless has been around since the early 20th century but its improper english! Mixing the negative prefix of irr with the suffix of less is just wrong. Anyways WELL DONE! Thank you for posting your 5.


  2. 1. People who are cheap with their time or their wallet.
    2. Telemarketing calls.
    3. People who talk really loud on their cell phone as if I WANT to hear what they have to say.
    4. Tailgaters.
    5. People who don’t respond to emails when a response is needed.

    Can I have five more!? I’ve got quite the list!


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