I have decided as of late there are a few things I need to get off my chest. A few opinions that continue to rattle around in this perplexed brain of mine. Some may find them humorous, some may not agree with them. I am pretty sure it will not be my best work but I must get them off my chest just the same.
All my opinions and or ramblings stem from good old-fashioned observation. Observation of family, media, television or just the average individual walking down the street. Some may say I am judgmental, discriminatory or just plain narrow-minded. I say poppycock! My observations merely point out what I consider the funnier moments, behaviors of life. The things we all do and say weaving together the fantastic fabric blanketing our daily lives.
Now that I have justified my temporary existence here goes…
I am sorry I feel the need to remind you that when you become over 40 you should dress appropriately! I know you feel as though “on the inside” you are still 25 but wake up, you’re not! Wife beaters, high tops and hip hop jeans that you hold up with your “free” hand, make you look like a moronic douche! Dont know who you are trying to impress their “G money” but every time you smile your face wrinkles up like a chinese shar pei! Thats ok though “Dog” the wrinkles hide well under that flat brimmed $60.00 baseball cap that apparently was designed to be worn backwards and over your sagging ear flaps? Being a bit of a baseball cap wearing aficionado, I never realized the creator was such a visionary he recognized the need early on to cover your ears and shade the back of your neck as opposed to your eyes! Oh yeah by the way there “swagger”, that high school girl you just checked out while licking your 40-year-old pursed lips, she just vomited a little bit her mouth. You basically just eye groped someone who could be your daughter! Trust me when I say, she don’t want to “get” with that! Word up homey, I wont knock you too bad, I mean I fully get the need for the multiple piercings! Where else are you going to store all that fine 3 and 4 carat cubic zirconium you flashing? Bling Bling bitches! Money in the hoooouuuussseee!!!!
Valentines Day is coming which means its time for me to pick my advertising company of week! This is the company that most exemplifies what I hate about advertisers and the strange affliction they have with peddling their products at the expense of hard-working parents, husbands and dads!
Papa Murphy’s you are a winner! Ding Ding Ding! Thank you Papa Murphy’s for taking the low road when it comes to valentines day! Nothing says world-class, college drop out, slacker loser like a commercial peddling your heart-shaped pizza for Valentines day! A worried man is in the kitchen with a hand-held blender failing miserably at cooking a perfect Valentines day dinner, presumably for the girl he loves! Not only can’t he cook but he is also portrayed as a buffoon! Poor guy, so pathetic and sad, thank goodness Papa Murphy’s is there to the rescue with a perfect heart-shaped pizza! Just what every woman wants on valentine’s day! And you thought “Jared” had the corner of this market all locked up! Little did you know that instead of spending $500-5000 on jewelry for Valentines Day if you had just spent $7.99 on a pizza you would have won her heart (get it? heart-shaped pizza, won her heart? hee hee) and been money ahead all in the same night! Well our sad sack, moron did just that and you know what? It wasnt just for his girl, no it was for his wife and their three daughters! (All together now ahhhhhhhhh). He serves the pizza while they laugh at him for being a dork! Papa Murphy’s you suck! Purely from the standpoint I will not tolerate any company portraying hard-working parents like absolute incompetent boobs!
Just my opinion….
Dear auto makers, please quit pandering to the public and create a car that is environmentally friendly, stylish with tons of horsepower. I know you think you are onto something with this “electric” car thing, but has anyone addressed the concerns for what we are going to do with all the batteries when they are finished? Not to mention the fact that unless you are the Tesla sports car, to be electric you must look like a suppository on wheels (Prius)! What continues to astound me is with millions of highly educated people in this world, technology exploding faster than we can keep up with, why don’t we have a decent sized, attractive 50 mpg car? Why? Looking for a simple answer, thanks for listening.
Bye the way it also worries me that if we do flood the market with 50 mpg cars the price of fuel will skyrocket to make up the difference. Either way I think we are screwed.
So there you are, like I stated earlier, not my best work, but I really felt the need to vent. Someone mentioned to me today they were amazed at the things I wrote about, wondering how I came up with so much stuff to say. I told them it was easy, the secret is to never turn off your brain. It’s the only one you have so get to using it, you might be amazed at what comes from inside…