Cleaning up the kitchen today I found a pen. Now this is no ordinary pen as my wife has affixed an ornate fake flower to its base. She got this idea I am sure from the multiple doctors/dentist/school offices we have been to in our lives where the pens are decorated to keep the patrons from walking away with them. We have four of these pens but this one pen in particular has been troubling me this morning. You see I keep finding it in the same spot, I pick it up and carefully put it back with its fellow flowers only to have it returned to the very same spot not more than a few minutes later. After the third time I am sure the pen has grown legs and is dragging itself over to this spot to relish in the sunlight shining through the window. So with a curious look and a quivering hand I place the “flower” back in its base one more time, ducking around the corner hoping to catch it in its travels. Now I know there is no way the flower/pen is moving on its own, yet the little boy in me wants to see it look around, crawl out and lay down in the sunlight with a relaxing heavy sigh..
I wait..
And wait…..
And wait……….
I give up.
Walking up the stairs I catch my wife telling our middle son: “if you are going to use something put it back” and “that pen doesn’t belong there, it’s no wonder the house is a mess when you guys just drop stuff when you’re done with it and expect someone else to put it away”!
Mystery solved, fantasy crushed, the pen is just a pen and our kids are normal little mess making machines. (heavy sigh)..
Tag: fatherhood
Bliss
Some days life just falls into place like a perfect puzzle. Every piece you pick up locks into the next. That was today. We started the day with places to go And things to do. But by the end of the day it had all fallen into a perfect symphony of music, everyone’s needs were met and all of my children had fun and appreciated the time they had spent with their family.
I am in a perfect bliss right now. Going to bed before I wake up and realize it was all a dream….
I hate lunchtime advertising
I hate the way trade school commercials target the “lazy unemployed male” with catch phrases like “my wife is so proud of me” and “my kids look up to me now that I have a job” or my favorite ” now that I have an education from XYZ University I am finally making the money I deserve. What message does this send? What are we telling our kids? When I am home four days in a row spending time and taking care of my children am I that much less of a man because I am home and not making a difference in my education? Am I a failure because I have chosen my path and am completely content in my career, pay and ability to be with my family? Time that you can never get back? I am really tired of advertising portraying the male in the house as either unimportant in the family dynamic or a complete moron that can’t do anything right, and when he fails mom and kids disparage him as an idiot. Our children need to be raised to believe that they can achieve greatness in all aspects of the family. That once a family is formed responsibilities are shared equally in the house. That as a family we are a working functioning unit that needs to mesh together like a well oiled set of gears. Does it always work flawlessly? No. But I definitely don’t need any help from TV land. Just bitchin I guess….
High School Raceway
This morning dropping off my high schooler I took note of the fact that I was feeling very pressured in my driving skills. Not from my own child mind you, his head was buried in the alternative texting, gaming, fantasy world that is his I-Phone. No it was in fact from the kids that were driving alongside and behind me. The tailgating, speeding, wreck less driving that is coming from our youth is astounding to me. At times coming in this four lane road feels more like a run against John Force at Infineon raceway. When we round the corner I am cutting the lane on Tony Stewart. I keep waiting for my crew Chief to let me know I’m “clear low” (those who follow NASCAR will get that one). Yet today for some reason I parked facing out to watch in coming traffic. To get a better read on my assessment of this daily routine. After 10 minutes I came to a conclusion. IT’S NOT THE KIDS!!! Oh yeah that’s right, it was the parents! Don’t get me wrong there was a handful of stop sign running kids but over all the rubber squealing, stop sign running, speeding idiots were the parents! I wanted to pull them over and scream! Apparently they don’t realize or care that the impression they are leaving on there own kids will result in their children driving like asses too.
Let me also say, I by no means was a driving Angel. I had a sweet truck with an awesome motor and it hauled ass! But as a parent I feel it’s my responsibility to lead by example, my dad and mom both drove like a bat out of HELL! Yet they expected me to drive like a law abiding citizen. HAH! A ticket and two accidents later (luckily no one hurt) I figured out the hard way that there are driving rules and laws for a reason.
The good news so far is my son hates people who break the law. He sees no point in speeding, and looks at it as being irresponsible. He thinks his friends who drive recklessly as complete morons. He swears that will never be him and he will always follow the driving rules of the road.
I should probably up my insurance..
The Rain
Rain and kids, two thing that are a contradiction to each other. Kids love to play in it and hate to be in it all at the same time. As parents we love to watch the rain, I personally enjoy watching kids play in the rain, but hate the ensuing war that preceeds entry back into the home.
Luckily this morning went swimmingly. The kids all behaved, there was no mess from multiple exits and entries back into the home and everyone loaded up for school without any major incidents. It is truly a Christmas miracle! Of course what I failed to mention is that I SLEPT THROUGH THE WHOLE THING!!! Yep thats right my I slept through it all! Well I awoke a few times and listened to the exchange of ideas, misconceptions and demands between my wife and the kids. But it all sounded great. My wonderful wife got up early this morning and handled the whole show so I could catch some extra ZZZZZZZZ’s. It was splendid. I also came downstairs to a clean sink, no clothes strewn about and the laundry was in full swing! With a smile on my face I grabbed the coffee pot (yes she even made coffee and left half a pot) filled up my favorite cup, turned around to survey my lazy ass domain to find my teenage son staring at me! Crap! I had forgotten about this one! He needs to be taken into school late this morning, he is on FINALS schedule. Oh well all cant be perfect my little world. So off I go before his hormones get impatient and we end arguing about delivery time.
The Day is done
Kids are asleep, wife is out cold and I am left with my thoughts. Another night of playing “whack a mole” with the kids has left me exhausted. Whack a mole is when every time you think they are all in bed, another one pops up with a need. You get that one handled and back in bed at just at that moment another one pops up with a need. Before long you are pulling your hair out and cussing under your breath.
My parents used to say “I hope you have ten kids just like yourself” What a horrible thing to say! Apparently I was the spawn of the devil to harshly command such a response! Yet somehow right at his very moment it seems fitting. I have not uttered those words to my own children but as sure as the sun rises, it will come up.
One last load of laundry and my ass is off to bed as well…. Goodnight..
Dads work is never done
Sooooo finished the laundry only to find my daughter has been hiding more food in her room. She has an issue with sneaking food in the middle of the nigh and although she gets plenty to eat during the day and we have put a plate out with items on them she can have at night so she doesnt have to feel like she is sneaking, she is still doing it anyway. Dont know what to do next. Dont want to her to feel bad about herself but also dont like her sneaking..
They call me Betty 