Life at twelve can seem incredibly hard, your day is long and filled with all the trappings of an almost adult life.
You wake up early 6am
Get dressed while simultaneously trying to gather your belongings for the day ahead.
Study last-minute materials for the big presentation at work- whoops, I mean study last-minute for the large exam you have at the end of class.
Have a cup of coffee to get going- whoops, I mean drink some OJ or maybe a glass of milk to help get the day started.
Shovel down breakfast while looking over the paper- gosh mixed em up again, shovel down breakfast while playing a game on your i-pod.
Run out the door screaming you are now late because no one let the dog out!- whoops again, you run out the door late because you forgot some homework and mom is backing out of the driveway as you run like heck to catch her!
Son believe it or not your day is filled with the very same social interactions that surround your parents. Here let me help you out a little.
Bully———————-Boss, co-worker looking to get ahead, Bosses boss
Girl you like————-Co-worker, girl at the cafe down the street, etc..
Best friend—————Best friend
Nerds———————I.T guys, maybe even your boss
Jocks———————Corporate, Boss, Bosses boss also can be interchanged with “bully”
Stoners——————-Stoners, mail room, janitors, window washers
Rockers——————-To many items to list
Country kids————-Country folks/adults
Principal——————CEO of the company
Vice Principal————COO of the company
Teachers——————In house training experts
So as you can see you are dealing with the same social problems we are as adults on a daily basis. The problem is your brain is just now learning how to handle all these various personalities. No minor task mind you and I for one do not wish to trade places with you in any way shape or form. But there is something you must understand, and learn this one thing you must, because whether you realize it or not this very moment in time is truly one of the most important of your life. The person you are becoming right now will dictate the person you will remain for most of high school! Yes you can change if it’s not working out, but for some reason if change is not made prior to high school it then becomes a long tedious four-year road of interpersonal struggle.
Why am I telling you all of this in a blog?
Because I have tried my hardest to tell you in person. Your head is hard and thick, your fortitude is deep and strong. You have been mired in a very grey area for the last month, one where heading towards the dark side means meeting the expectations of your peers while heading towards the light means your family comes first and your friends will think you a loser. Social problems and decisions within that social sphere can impact how you feel about yourself and others. I understand that, your mom understands it, but we cant help you if you wont let us!
But the real reason I am writing you this letter is so some day when this emotional roller coaster you are on has come to an abrupt end and you step away from it woosey and unsure of what just happened you will be able to read this and know exactly how I felt.
I miss you son, I miss your laugh, your smile, the accepting way you were always willing to lend a hand. I miss doing things with you that was just about us. I miss being a family with you son. Your brothers and sisters miss you! They are exhausted from fighting over every little tidbit of social interaction with you! I am not sure where you have gone, but your personality needs to come home. The tension created by just you is unbearable!
Today was the last straw, the rolling of the eyes when asked to participate in this family, the disrespectful comments made towards you mother and I, the anger you have shown towards you siblings, it all ends today.
The punk flat billed hat you wanted so badly, gone! If it looks like a punk, dresses like a punk and acts like punk guess what? It’s probably a punk! Next to go is your phone, after that baseball and if we have too, I will bring you home and tutor you myself right through high school for you see son, as much as I love being like a friend to you when the times are good there is one thing I am above all else. YOUR FATHER!
And with that comes the never-ending responsibility to ensure you grow up to become all you can possibly become! You will have manners towards your parents and teachers! Why? Because we raised you that way! You will become a productive member of society! Why? Because we raised you that way! You will give back to your community and strive to be a better person every chance you get! Why? Pretty sure you know the answer to this right about now.
Those “friends” you are emulating will come and go! One minute you will be their best buddy and the next you will be thrown to the curb for the next best greatest thing! But your family, we are here forever. We love you, we think the world of you and we will do everything in our power to help you. Mess with one you get us all!
So in closing.
Tonight definitely sucked. You say things are gonna change. I hope so, not just because your mom and I miss you, not just because we love you, but because as your father its my job to ensure that a change gonna come…
2 thoughts on “A letter to my son…”
Hang in there! We’ve got the same afflictions here in girl form…if my daughter’s eyes roll any farther back we’ll have to seek medical help!
Yep, it’s not only the eye roll either, it’s the heavy sigh and then walking off while you are still talking! I thought yesterday I was going to help him affix those eyes permanently!