The 80’s and fighting Leukemia? Huh?

Lately I have been on a bit of an 80’s music kick. You remember the eighties don’t you?

Mount St. Helens, Billy Idol, Princess Diana, Ronald Reagan, YUP’ies, the Challenger explosion, the Falkland war and we cannot forget Bill Gates becoming the richest man in the world in 1983.

Now I mentioned Billy Idol only for music, I loved his fighting angry style and sneering grin which always makes me think of him first! But let’s be real shall we? In reality it was a decade filled with some of the most adventurous artists ever in my humble opinion. Angry, screaming, fighting against the machine music! (anyone remember the sex pistols?) In that vein there was punk rock, hard rock, and heavy metal! There was also new wave, pop, and let’s face it country music was still COUNTRY! Not this rap, pop, cross over crap they are passing off today. Just a reminder of a phrase recently coined by yours truly. Country + Rap= CRAP!

“Country + Rap= CRAP is a trademarked statement and not to be used without the express permission of They Call Me Betty inc. along with any and all subsidiaries associated with They Call Me Betty inc..”

While traveling down memory lane with some of my favorite 80’s artists a revelation; the 80’s may in fact be the new 50’s! I mean even today the 50’s are alive and strong musically, there are oldies parties and people still love hotrods from that era! This of course set me to wondering why no one really celebrates the 60’s or 70’ the way the 50’s and 80’s are celebrated on a regular basis.

The 60’s were cool, free love, hippies, rock and roll expanding from suits and ties in the beginning to long hair and freaky clothes as the decade came to an end! Then the 70’s arrived and we had Vietnam, rock music was trippy with long hair, lots of dope and a strange sound, other music forms revolved around love, lots and lots of love. Near the end though the 70’s got weird which I blame on a desperate struggling economy. This may be why we got happy Disco music (along with copious amounts of cocaine) blaring in our ears forcing us to dance the night away in a sweaty barrage of bodies, polyester and open front shirts!

So why don’t those era’s receive the same loving reflection? Maybe they do and because I lived the eighties decade I only notice its relevance in society today? Either way.

As I was saying, I have been listening to eighties music a lot lately. Needing to find my happy place as all of this craziness swirls around me. Sometimes when I am watching Jacy sleep and it is so quiet inside her room the only noises to be heard are that of tiny IV pumps turning and a favorite Van Morrison tune cranked loudly inside my brain. It is like watching a sad music video behind my eyes where you flashback and pretend two of you are walking on a secluded beach, or laughing as rain pours over the both of you only to fast forward through the twisting of a scarf in the wind. There you are sitting alone on the very same beach staring off into the distance as the screen fades to black. (Totally sounds like and 80’s video huh?)

Spending time next to my wife is my favorite activity as of late; she cannot see me most of the time, but even when she sleeps she knows I am there. She is slowly showing signs of improvement as her sight returns, then fades away only to return in one eye the very next day. Her face has cleared up with baby fresh skin left behind from the drastic peeling and sloughing the week before. Her body remains covered in rashes and blisters which is hard to see as you know it hurts all over. Her once fit stealthy frame has been reduced to skin and bones. Her body is eating itself alive right now, our hopes remain for a complete turnaround soon. I hug her when she stands and nothing is there, I close my eyes and kiss her which feels the same, warm, familiar, wonderful. I can only kiss her through a mask but it doesn’t matter for love knows no barriers.

I ran into her doc in the hallway yesterday, she was having a particularly hard day as a multitude of drugs had run her down leaving her barely able to stay awake. Doc says status quo, which in this case is a very good thing. We won’t have true numbers on what this experimental drug is doing or not doing until late next week. Good news is she is holding her own and they began slowly weaning her off steroids which will allow this drug to work a little harder. Her breathing sounds a little better (not as much wheezing and phlegm) and her voice a bit clearer. Over all Jacy has been fighting the good fight and that is all any of us can ask for from this tough Cuban chick. righttttt????

Today’s writing was a bit of a ramble, but I suppose if I am going to write about this journey, it can’t all be a structured garden filled with sunshine and roses. My brain is fried, I am scared for my friend, but we stay strong through faith. As she reminds me on a regular basis; this sucks, I feel like shit, I couldn’t do this without you, but I have faith and I love you. I will beat this, we will be together again with our children at home.

Who could ask for more?

Think I’ll put on the earphones and crank up a little Idol?

idol

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And away they go!

I have spent the better part of the evening reading each and every emotionally charged snippet about children heading off to college. I went back and re-read what I wrote about Cody leaving last year on my blog and found myself choked up all over again.
To every one of you feeling the pain of having to say goodbye tomorrow or the next day or next week understand this; yes it hurts, it is going to hurt, there is no way around the pain of watching your child walk out the door alone. Yes it is a good thing, you have done your job it is time for them to shine! No you don’t have to be happy about it, no matter what anyone says to you, this is your child, your emotions, let those emotions flow freely, you have earned it!  Yes you are going to miss them terribly along with their dirty laundry, snarky comments, goof ball friends and most importantly you are going to miss just sitting with them sometimes not saying anything at all. It is hard not knowing what they are doing or how they are feeling along with  constantly wondering if they are safe,  after all that has been part of your existence for the last 18 years! But in the back of your mind you know you have done your job, so trust me it will be ok. These children or now young adults no matter how we may perceive them are the very best part of us heading out to make their marks upon this world and that is a good thing. They will come home and they will leave again, but know this, each time they come home they will be a little different, a little wiser, a little more educated, and a little more like the adult you always hoped and dreamed they would become. So while you are grabbing for tissue to sop up the misery, take your free hand and pat yourself on the back for the best my friends is yet to come! I promise!