Easter=A pony?

Ah Easter, a morning filled with love, thanks, celebration, the lord Jesus Christ has risen from the dead, eggs, candy, the Easter Bunny and; a pony????

Oh yes you heard right, its hard enough explaining year after year the significance of the fabled Easter bunny in conjunction with Jesus. But now a pony tossed in for total scalp scratching confusion? A bonified four-legged, pudgy bellied, mane and tail swishing Verne Troyer (that’s Mini-me from Austin Powers) of the horse world!

Eggs hidden by a sadistic Hallmark Holiday bunny hell-bent on total chaos, confusion and holiday candy domination is one thing! But a pony? How does that fall into the swirling contradictions that is Easter? Eggs=Bunny, Candy=Baskets, Jesus rising from the dead=salvation, yeah see those all make sense! What does a pony equate too in all this and will said pony need to make a reappearance every year? I have questions damn it, there is nothing in the “dad” rule book that states at some point, during some Easter a pony will arise for a chosen one within the family unit!

This morning started out like every Easter from years gone by. The wife and I awoke to the sounds of scampering feet around 0530! Now mind you it is an act of GOD to awaken these children on a school day, or for church, or an earthquake, tsunami or any other natural-manmade disaster known to plague the human race! Yet on one of the two days a year their little nuclear clocks seem to keep perfect time (the other one being Christmas of course-Jesus’s birth) they are up, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed as though doing so is a daily occurence and our looks of astonishment are a bit degrading! But up they are, like a treasure hunter, looking, digging, scavenging for candy! All was going swell, baskets recovered children were gorging, the wife and I were sipping coffee from our newly acquired Keurig (another story) when lo and behold the littlest one Parker finds a note in the bottom of his basket that reads; Parker, Happy Easter look outside! Now being one who lives for intrigue and loves surprises, I bolted straight up moving the little bugger aside to see what could possibly be outside our backyard picture window!

Could it be a new car, I pondered? No ridiculous, the lad is only 8! Could it be a new bike? No, No he just got a new bike at Christmas. As we moved closer to the back room, anticipation rose! Parker says excitedly; I know what it is! A UFO filled with candy from another planet! Man that is a good one, I reply! Finally we make it to the window, and just as Parker is about to look outside, his brother Jake grabs him, shielding his eyes while opening the back door! Jake asks Parker very calmly, are you ready? A solid YES is blurted out and Parkers eyes are uncovered. Standing there amongst a backyard ripe for egg plucking is a reddish/white, hay burning pooping pony!

Parker jumps up and down! The kids jump up and down, the dogs jump up and down! I slowly retreat back into the kitchen, pour myself another cup of coffee and sit down. How does a pony equal Easter? And further more how did that evil rabbit get a pony here without any kids finding it? The mysteries of the universe stand unbroken! My Elmer Fudd cap and shotgun are coming out of the closet.

The morning moves along just fine! I have steadied my nerves, accepting the newest member of our very large family! The wife and I are preparing everything, so we can start cooking Easter dinner on time for our guests. Its mid morning, the kids have all come down from their Easter candy high, some are lying in the hallway like crack addicts looking for the next fix while other are outside, using playtime and excercise to help combat the sugar hangover. I sit down at my computer for a little “me” time when through the upstairs window I hear the very distinguishable sound of a sack of potatoes hitting the ground in conjunction with my daughter’s voice screaming; “run and get dad!” (this can’t be good)

Walking out the back door I am met by Jake who proceeds to tell me Parker was thrown from his pony! Apparently when mom says: hey honey why don’t you go outside and make friends with your new pony. That means to a country kid who has been riding since he was 5; go out, saddle your horse, but don’t tighten up the cinch all the way and for heaven’s sake try to ride without a bit using only a halter! (you other country folk got this, for those who don’t I am sorry) Long story short, saddle slides down the ponies side during a lope, pony steps up to bucking, Parker land on its neck because he has no reins to hold, pony bucks and shakes, Parker hits the ground! Like P-90X- Easter just became EasterX!

Parker is last seen kicking dirt, walking towards the house, telling everyone he hurts and can’t move his head, all while looking every direction while yelling that he is never, ever, ever going to ride that dumb ole pony again! Yep score one for the Easter Bunny! Hurray! Loving the Easter vibe so far! whoo hoo, thank you lord may I have another!

Later in the afternoon, said pony is outfitted properly, mom takes a go on the little guy and sure enough the pony is tame as tame can be. Grandpa has a long talk with the young lad about getting right back up after falling off! Grandpa has a way of turning a stubborn boy around so we all mount up riding our own horses so Parker doesn’t feel alone. Then slowly, carefully he puts his keester back in the saddle, settles in and the two of them ride off into the sunset! After several turns in the arena he is last over heard proclaiming: I love you pony, you and I are gonna be best friends.

Ahhh Easter restored, my faith in Easter happiness renewed, my Elmer Fudd cap put away as now I wont have to hunt down that rascally rabbit and make him pay for ruining Easter Sunday.

Now, I still havent figured out how a pony fits into the grand scheme of Easter but at this point I don’t care, watching my son lope his new buddy around an arena smiling ear to ear warms even the coldest of Hallmark holiday hearts…